Filler for September schedules

'Shrimpola Cola Single Can of Cola Give Away Contest' applies in and not restricted to the following states or U.S. territories, not including those ignored minus the possibility of not being mentioned. Texas, Virginia, Hawaii, The Sunshine State of Ohio, Louisiana, New York, New Jersey, Rhode Island and others not mentioned. Obviously void where prohibited. Allowed where not prohibited, in a non-binding-dis-allowance in areas noted below, vis-à-vis the allowance regulation in seciton 9, paragraph 10, sentence 3, word 5, letter 67.
Contestants may not be related to anyone who might have met anyone who might know an employee of the Oxymoron Corporation, or its sub subsidiaries, incluiding but not exclusive to Shrimpola Cola, Les Wiggles Emporium, Ghengis Khan and the Open Mikes, The Secret Military Organization or the federal government. Contestants may not be named Timmy. Anyone named Timmy will be excluded from this contest. We don't like people named Timmy. They aren't good people. Single can of Shrimpola Cola may be redeemed, but will probably continue living a life of sin. See previous regulations to find out where to see previous regulations.
Shrimpola Cola and its other branding styles, incluiding but not excluding Shrimpola Lime Lemon Lime Lemon, Shrimpola Shrimp-Flavored Milk and Shrimpola Shrimp-Free Cola By-Product are excluded but not included in this contest. No money necessary. You could barter. Say you wanted to enter the contest and you had a piece of cherry bubblegum, well I love cherry bubblegum, so there you go. Happyness is not guaranteed. Actual chances of winning are astronomically minuscule. In fact, we couldn't calculate something like that. Give it up. Shrimpola Cola just wants you to love us. I once ate a whole roasted chicken by myself. My dog's name is Nelson. The end. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use of anytinh is strictly unauthorized. Oxymoron products.
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Your dishes... they are so clean
My love for you... more than a dishpan has
BAAAAAA
No grease spots incrust my soul
You'll have to speak up, I can barely hear you
BAAAAAA
I once ate a whole roasted chicken by myself
I lost my voice... love my dishes
Spotless. The new dishwashing liquid by Frankie von Fashion.
AVAILABLE WHEREVER CLASSY STUFF IS SOLD!!!